Look people in the eye

From the time you were babies you always looked people in the eye.  It is a natural behaviour for babies and children.  In fact, from the time you were born - within minutes, you stared into my eyes and started mapping out my face.  It all starts and end with the eyes.

There is a saying that eyes are "windows into the souls".  A simple look can convey a multitude of different emotions and it is vital that you develop this skill in order to be keenly aware of your social surroundings.

Somewhere along the path, you might develop the habit of looking away.  As a teenager, I developed this very bad habit, where I would look away or feel uncomfortable when people looked me in the eye.  Most likely due to poor confidence.  It was your uncle who told me to look people in the eye and from that point I did, and now I understand why.

Looking away can convey deception, awkwardness (which is ok at times) and insecurity.  Maintaining eye contact is a trait that is oft associated with people in powerful positions and certainly conveys a strong sense of confidence.


We are programmed to look people in the eye - how many times have you heard from your Mum and I "look at me".  This is to ensure there is truth, honesty and a real connection in what you are saying.

Maintaining eye contact goes a long way - in personal relationships (!!), in the work place, or even asking someone for directions.

 

Know your geography

The world is a very large place, but it is becoming a much smaller place with news, internet, social media etc.  However, one thing is certain, there are more countries than you will ever know and it is important that you have sound knowledge of basic geography.

When I was child, we had a puzzle map of the US, which had 50 puzzle pieces.  On each of the pieces it had the state name and the capital.  To this day, I still see this puzzle and know my US capitals and their location.  We also had an Atlas called "Our World' by National Geographic that I used to pour over and read every night.  This is what piqued my interest in geography, that I hope I can pass down to you.


At one point in man's history we thought the world was flat, some cultures believed that the world was held up on four large elephants, others believed it was created from the froth of a snake that had been twisted.  The world has been and always be a mystery in many ways but to know as much about the geographic world is a nice trait to have.  

Why you may ask?  In your travels you will meet many people from others parts of the world and knowledge of someone's homeland shows respect, interest,intellect, worldiness.  People (who are traveling or are overseas) LOVE to talk about their homeland, be it nostalgia or homesickness.  Imagine meeting someone that you find interesting or that you might like who is from Uruguay, would it not be cool to ask 'from Montevideo or elsewhere?'

Map of world, 1570.  Note that Australia takes up entire southern pole.

I have found that knowledge of the world (be it flags, country capitals, currency, languages, religion, economy) makes the world easier to understand and most important of all, demonstrates that we are really are the same people underneath it all.



Time capsule: 
Newest countries
South Sudan - 2011
Kosovo - 2008
Serbia - 2006
Montenegro - 2006
East Timor - 2002
 
 

Mind your manners

Saying 'please', 'thank you', 'you're welcome' is becoming more and more of a lost art.  We have tried to distill in both of you the need for manners and remind you of these day in and day out.  Please do not lose sight of this.

We currently live in a world where these words are going the way of the Dodo (if you do not know what that saying means, you can look it up).  Parents seem not to care, or they, themselves, do not have possess these manners to instill this in their children.

It is a very simple gesture but it goes a very long way.  Not using those words, in any circumstance, is rude.  By this, I mean you should always use your manners when you are addressing anyone - it could be your boss, the queen, the janitor at school a customer service representative, a homeless person, your family (parents, brother/sister, aunty, uncle etc etc).  

It shows a great deal of respect and will certainly put you in higher regard to any observer.  No one will ever say - 'oh is that the person with the good manners??'.  In contrast you will hear people say 'is that the really rude person who doesn't know how to say please and thank you'.

A small effort goes a long way.  

Learn to cook

As of today the prominence of ready meals is abundant.  They are convenient, cheap, quick and easy.  In our busy lives, people rely on them.  However, these are not good for you - occasionally, its ok, when time demands or you are just too tired.  As an everyday staple, not a chance - they are filled with chemicals, salt and heavily processed foods.  So much so they really cannot be considered as 'food'.  Yes, we eat pre-made foods at times, but this is outside the norm.  Delivery and take away is also nice, on occasion and at the time of this, you both do enjoy it quite a bit too!

Pre-made cheeseburger - microwaveable

There is a badge of honour (particularly in men) who state "I cant cook", with a big lop-sided grin as to infer that having the ability to cook is a bad thing.

Food will be the cornerstone of most of your social interactions.  Where do you typically have a first date?  Where do families talk or share their day? What is the feature of a wedding? What do we want when we are feeling down/cold/sad?  That's right: food. 

I have a saying "If you know how to read, you know how to cook."  Think of it as a science experiment.  Measure this, add that, stir this, heat that.  I taught myself to cook by doing 'this and that', eventually you start to experiment and now you can cook a meal with almost anything you find in the fridge and pantry.  Many times it will taste awful and bland, other times over seasoned and sometimes just right.  

I hope by the time you can read this, that you will know how to cook - if not, that we have not done a very good job!

Nothing speaks more to a persons heart than a nicely cooked meal.  I am sure that each of you will do us proud and be capable cooks/chefs and can make meals for those that are special in your life.

Dish from Noma - Copenhagen

Time capsule: Top 5 restaurants in the world as of 2013:
El Cellar De Can Roca - Girona, Spain
Noma - Copenhagen Denmark
Osteria Francsecana, Modena, Italy
Mugaritz, San Sebastien, Spain
Eleven Madison Park, NY, USA
 

Always shake hands with a firm handshake

Whether you are male or female, it is important to have a firm handshake.  If you happened to be a very large and strong handed man this does not mean you should try and crush the other parties hand.  Firm is important and key.

Women that hand over their hand like a 19th century Dutchess is rare these days and when it does happen, its odd, almost submissive.  A proper handshake with some firmness is very much the norm.  Some women try to overdo it and squeeze as hard as they can to overcome their natural slenderness and (often) weaker hands, overcompensating seems a bit desperate.

As a first impression a weak 'cold wet fish' handshake is a massive put off and says a great deal about an individual.  If you happen to have clammy hands then a solid grip should overcome that.  If nervous before a meeting or interview a quick rub/swipe on your suit jacket before you shake hands can do the trick.

You never get a second chance to make a first impression, so start off, with the simplest of gestures on a good note.

Cold wet fish

Raison d'etre

I have created this blog as a hand-me-down to my children.  Initially, in October 2010, a month before the birth of my daughter, I had started a journal.  The purpose of the journal was to a keep-sake for my children - it was to contain bits of advice, wise words and just general advice that a parent hands down to a child over the years of parenting.  

I realised that since a keep-sake book is likely to be lost or discarded that a blog was a way to somewhat make this eternal and timeless (ok, that might be a stretch).  By the time that my children are old enough to read and understand this that books might be a thing of the past and the practice of reading might be through some form of word generating emitter that goes straight to the brain, or across the eyes like a ticker tape commonly found on business channels.  Who really knows what the future might hold; with that in mind, I do hope the words and thoughts contained within are as applicable now as they are when my children might actually read this.

These thoughts are in no particular order.  If one of my kids is actually reading these (years away now) then I have done something right, if they are rolling their eyes in embarrassment, then I know I have actually achieved my goal.

I hope that you find this useful and one day will look back fondly on this.  Love you forever and ever.  Daddy/Dad.